How to Develop Healthy Relationships in Recovery

In order to remove the fear of judgement and assumptions, use “I” statements, stick to the facts, and keep the conversation about your experience rather than focusing on the other person. An example might be, “I feel lonely when I am by myself on my birthday” followed by “I would really like to spend my next birthday with you” or “maybe I will arrange a get together next year.” In codependency, we focus on how someone else can meet our needs rather than focusing on how to take care of ourselves. It’s important to understand that being “self-focused” is not about being selfish.

Although rare, there are some work situations in which a person’s recovery status might possibly be held against him or her. There are certain industries where business is frequently conducted around activities where alcohol is served and drinking is customary. While some relationships are based on circumstances https://ecosoberhouse.com/ over which you have little or no control, you do have choices in establishing relationships that provide support and nurture you. Cultivating and maintaining supportive relationships takes time and energy. It requires effort, along with the strength and courage to step outside of one’s comfort zone.

What Are Some Examples of Setting Healthy Boundaries in Addiction Recovery?

This can be especially true when it comes to repairing relationships. It is built upon a foundation of trust, respect, caring, and kindness. Knowing the qualities of a healthy relationship is the first step to pursuing and developing them in your life.

They may have let them down by neglecting shared responsibilities or lying about their substance abuse. When you want to build a relationship after rehab, you should always look for the positive traits in people that indicate a healthy relationship. These traits are essential for healthy functional relationships. Loved ones may also develop codependent behaviors, such as enabling the addict, taking on the role of a caretaker, and placing the user’s needs before their own.

Recovery Coaching

We live in our own head all day long – which is why we should make it a pleasant place to be!. Having a healthy relationship with ourselves is just as (if not more) important than having heathy relationships with others. If you or someone you care about is struggling with addiction, call now to speak to a treatment provider.

Identifying and shedding unhealthy or “toxic” relationships is also part of the recovery process. Living with active addiction creates extraordinary relationship challenges and does considerable damage to significant relationships—with partners, parents, children, and close friends. Learning how to build and sustain healthy relationships is a critical part of clinical treatment because they help those in recovery find the motivation and support necessary to remain sober. As the lines between real and fake blur, Americans increasingly chase the idea of authenticity. The first step may be to consider self-knowledge, truthfulness, and other building blocks on the road to personal growth. As you create or peruse your list of qualities in a partner, remember that nothing matters if your partner isn’t available.

Attachment Styles & Romantic Relationships

Those topics get much less attention, and people may feel guilty about even considering that their relationships have contributed to their substance use. Most people see how their relationships impact their quality of life, but sometimes this gets muddied when addiction is part of the picture. Some of these relationships can be helpful to us, some of them can be harmful to us in certain ways, and some can be both. We tend to focus mostly on romantic and family relationships, but other types of relationships can have a big impact on your recovery efforts as well.

• Being in recovery adds another layer of complexity into the situation.
• For example, attractiveness, humor, or financial stability may be high priorities for you.
• If you are new to recovery or attempting to overcome an addiction, you may have little or no idea of what a healthy relationship consists of.
• This person might be a friend you used to use or drink with or a family member with whom you had a codependent relationship.

They may well struggle with your new-found independence and desire to form new friendships. In instances like this, couples counselling or your partner attending Al-Anon or similar for themselves can really help. SMART Recovery also offers a programme for family members and significant others. “I” statements are less likely to provoke a defensive response but, remember, the purpose of setting boundaries is to let someone know you are not okay with their behavior. If you are setting a healthy boundary—from a place of self-care—you will be better able to acknowledge the reaction, but not try to fix it. Talking about our feelings and sharing our personal needs can put us in a vulnerable state.

Can Boundaries Work in a Codependent Relationship?

If someone is leaving a rehab facility, they will benefit from steering clear of enablers, negative critical people, or people who undermine their personal growth and sense of responsibility. Enablers, people who lie or make excuses for addiction, can encourage or tempt those in recovery relationships in recovery to abuse substances. Codependent relationships can also be unhealthy for people struggling with substance abuse. Struggling with addiction can also lower motivation and cause depression, anxiety, and fatigue. These symptoms can make someone seem unreliable, irresponsible, or uncaring.